


Sebastian's Epitaph

by orphan_account



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Death, M/M, Reminiscing, thoughts after death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-16
Updated: 2014-02-16
Packaged: 2018-01-12 15:57:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1191021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The same thing as before but from Sebastian's POV. So it's shorter but yeah.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sebastian's Epitaph

Lacrimosa. I knew that’s what he called this place. Normally, I couldn’t have cared less, but at that moment I found it truly fitting. As you sat on that bench, anticipating your death, you looked like a painting. That place was the set for a painting, anyhow. The ruins and crow being symbols of death and ending. How do you feel as you end? I wanted to think, but I already knew. I knew of all his thoughts and feelings in that moment. I knew that he loved me, even if it wasn’t the right word. I knew that he thanked me, too. No, I won’t laugh. I understand what you are trying to portray.  
I think I actually cared for you, Ciel. It’s all right to call you that in my mind. It seems so utterly impossible for a demon to have feelings, yet here they are. “Impossible” is a frivolous word anyway. I know that my part in the play was to be “one hell of a butler”, but at some point I stopped acting. I never forgot I was a demon, of course, and I never forgot our promise. I could smell your soul from across the Earth. I simply learned to care for you. I don’t know if I loved you; I’ve never felt love. It fills me with certain nostalgia to know that you loved me, though. It’s almost similar to pity.   
Knowing you will be fed to the birds fills me with sadness. You are most kind, but I lied. I will not feed you to the birds. I know I said that I do not lie, but that isn’t true for anyone.  
As I caressed your small and delicate face, I relived every moment with you. I will never forget you, Ciel. Your eye glows with out contract. I wonder why it changed its color from teal to such a pretty lavender?  
I thought all this in the three seconds before I kissed you. You’re right, Ciel. It’s a formality, but I could’ve taken your soul more painfully. I just care about you, that’s all. That moment in which we were bound together once more was delicious. I hadn’t eaten a soul in some time, and yours was worth it. It seems like I lost a part of myself, though.  
That’s why, when I thought you were gone but I saw your eyes again, I smiled. I wanted you to see me one last time, so you could know that I wasn’t just a cruel, heartless demon. Your soft teal hair reminds me so much. What really closed the moment was your smile. Such a brief, fleeting thing, it could hardly be seen. I knew it was there, though. So, you haven’t forgotten. Ah, there’s that strange nostalgia again.  
I know your epitaph is longer than mine, but you certainly think more. I suppose I would think a lot, too, if I was dying. I’m sorry for lying twice, but as I carry you in my arm, I’m glad I did. At least now they will find you. That little smile is still on your face. Shall I lay you down gently in the field of blue flowers Lady Elizabeth liked so much? They really do have the same color as your ring.  
You look so peaceful among them. Are you in Heaven yet? I lied when I said that you could never go there. Yes, you’re “unclean”, but are you really rotten enough to go to Hell?  
When they find you here, they’re sure to cry. They were already such crybabies. I wonder if they’ll even be able to cry? Quite a shock, losing someone like you. I have no regrets, but I do have the tiniest bit of nostalgia.


End file.
